Aug 17, 2008

charred paper, fractured plaster

for the past week, i've been forging my resume into a titanic juggernaut that thwart the most stubborn receptionist. or, for an entire week, i've been staring at the past three years of my employed life boiled down to 3 bullet points, fighting back tears and feelings of inadequacy.

why is i'm judged by merits my resume writing capabilities over what i have or haven't done? it just seems to encouraged embellishment. to be honest, this works to my advantage. i haven't actually been working that long. it still drives me crazy.

to spice things up, we decided to hang pictures, shelves, and maps in our apartment this week. mostly, this went according to plan. we generally bickered about the placement of items, moved them around, moved them back, and settled for something neither of us really loved. hanging on plaster is painful as well, but we figured out where we needed to drill pilot holes and where we did not and moved on.

the one piece we didn't argue too much about was our cheap, target "wine rack and glass holder." we both thought the most natural place was next to the refrigerator in the kitchen. dutifully, i pulled out the appropriate tools, measured, and marked the holes and began to drill.

about halfway toward the required anchor depth, i hit and impenetrable barrier. like any man, i assumed i just didn't have to right drill bit, accepted the excuse to go to home depot, and bought a masonry bit--fire wall be damned!

but this trick also failed. after several hours of sweat, tears, degenerate speech and foul oaths i managed to get the thing on the wall--crooked. which is where it sits now.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Who needs straight shelves anyway...?

ck said...

what a handy man! this reflects poorly on all the manly construction know-how i tried to pass on to you.

grantly said...

ya know how target can mass produce something (i.e. - wine rack) and make it look fairly nice? Well, that's not really represented here.