movies i loved, movies i want to see: 2009

while vainly compiling my best of music lists has been a tradition for at least one year, throwing together a bunch of movie titles is a new one for me. so cut me some slack.

it's telling that my list of movies to-see is way longer than those i did watch in 2009. i probably should just go ahead and delete this post altogether. luckily for you, i've got some time to kill.

movies i loved, '09:

district 9--i can't get over how awesome this movie is. no, it wasn't the first to pair a plot with visually stunning science fiction and exploding pigs, but it might be the best.

up--yes, we all cried in the opening scene. damn you, pixar. this is a children's movie! it maybe one of pixar's best. which is saying quite a bit.

where the wild things are--beautiful and sad. jonze captures childhood in all it's adventure, loneliness, confusion, and imagination. watching it can be wrenching and joyful often in the same minute.

avatar--yes, you've read/seen this story arch about billion times, and it was probably delivered better than cameron in avatar. but you can't get past how much fun this movie is to watch. seriously, it's worth seeing. and in 3d.

julie and julia--whoa, left field. my wife made me watch and it was fantastic. both the ladies are excellent. the food looks pretty good, too.

coraline--a dark children's movie? was tim burton involved? as far as i know, no. but coraline is fantastic. visually stunning, scary, and with a compelling story. who knew a kids movie could deal with mother/daughter relationships so well? nothing is more visually arresting than the mother-spider threatening to consume her child. excellent, weird stuff.

movies i want to see, '09:

up in the air--the book left something to be desired, but i think the story will translate well into a movie. as an added plus, apparently every critic is in love with it.

the informant--this american life did an actual episode on this guy a few years ago. they replayed it around the release of the movie and i was sold. sounds like an awesome character study and bit of corporate history.

fabulous mr. fox--wes anderson and stop motion? i feel like he should have been doing this long ago. it's a shame i haven't seen this yet.

sherlock holmes--guilty pleasure. i'm banking on the fact that it's been several years since i got obsessed with conan doyle, so hopefully i won't mind as much that downey jr. is butchering the character as well as the bad guys.

invictus--i love clint eastwood. gran torino was easily the best movie of '08. though i'm intsted to see how he'll do "feel good," i recently heard a friend complain that it was "too historical." that made me really excited.

moon--again, a shame that i haven't seen this yet. it has all the earmarks of great science fiction.

the road--the book rocked my world. i'm preparing for a let-down, but hoping for something that gets in the ball park of what made the story so amazing--love and despair amidst chaos and death.

a serious man--this is mainly on the principle that the cohen brothers make good movies. even if burn after reading was disappointing, i've heard some good stuff about this one.

the hurt locker--a good war movie about iraq? judging from about every other non-documentary film that referenced the war, i didn't think it possible.

zombieland--the only surprise here is that i haven't seen it yet.

my musical 2009

last year, i started my best-of post with the realization that 2008 had a dearth of excellent music. 2009 was almost the exact opposite for me. when i started compiling this list, i probably had a good 20 albums that could have easily gone on the list. for everyone's sake, i trimmed the list down and added a few notables in addition to my top ten (none of this top 15 bs, will).

listen while you read.

2009

deep breath, here we go:

in no particular order, the albums that didn't make the top 10 list:

neko case, middle cyclone

not as good as fox confessor brings the flood, but still an excellent album. her voice alone would be enough to recommend the album, but song writing takes it to a new level. there's an entire novel in the line, "this tornado loves you."

tokyo police club, elephant shell/a lesson in crime/smith ep

we all have guilty pleasures. we can admit our musical ones, but leave them off the "best of" lists. i'm using the runner up section to get tokyo police club in there. the music is fun, rowdy, and yet with a tight delivery. plus there's a song about the future robot take over. what's not to love?

bear in heaven, beast rest forth mouth

this one is hard not to put on the top 10. if i'd had more time to digest the album in it's entirety, it probably would be on there. i had the singles "wholehearted mess" and

"lovesick teenagers" on repeat for a few months.

dirty projectors, bitte orca

the dirty projectors were a slow development for me. i bought the album because of will atkins and then couldn't really get into it. after roughly a dozen times through, the album just clicked for me and i couldn't get enough. listen to it in it's entirety.

top 10, because i'm too

lame too order them and don't have the wherewithal to do it, you choose the rating.

the mountain goats, the life of the world to come

like will said, the is great songwriting pretty much at it's peak. heavy material, excellent music, though if you've never heard them before, the lo-fi style will take getting used to (this album is a step up, production wise). he/they are quickly becoming some of my favorite songwriters. david dark has an excellent article on the mountain goats here.

japandroids, post nothing

i've said most of what i think about this band already. loud and fast garage rock at it's best. just play the first song, "the boys are leaving town" and you're in. i'm really disappointed i missed them live.

camera obscura, my maudlin career

camera obscura continues to define excellent pop music for me--somewhat sentimental, derivative of a classic style in good way, and extremely easy to play.

jj, jj no. 2

i listened to a lot of electronically leaning music this year. while jj doesn't easily fall into the category of electronic, i can't help but think of them that way. at the same time the music is pretty and accessible. check out their rip of lil' wayne's "lollipop" on "ecstacy."

until the avalanches release another album, this is my pseudo tropical, electronic album of the year.

m. ward, hold time

m. ward is an old favorite of mine. hold time does not disappoint. he continues his brand of pleasant folk. it makes me want to learn an instrument to play while i sit on the porch. if it's possible, i mean that in the least sentimental way. this is music to be heard and played in community. which is probably why he has so many collaborators.

bibio, ambivalence avenue

speaking of the avalanches, i think they had a lot of influence on the bands i loved this year. bibio has a unique mix of sampled sounds (if not recognizable samples, they at least sound like they're pulling clips from somewhere), beats, and instruments sound well aged. it's as if they sat down with a portable record player, a drum machine and a guitar and took the best tracks they could churn out in one sitting. sometimes esoteric, not quite dance-able, but still very accessible. right up my alley. check out "sugarette" or the title track.

passion pit, manners

previous contributors have already said what should be about passion pit. it's fun, like a block party. i serious can't stop listening to this album. against he will, my wife knows all their songs (i think she grudgingly likes them now). the only thing i'll add is that their ep chuck of change is an absolute must, and has a cool remix of "sleepy head."

so i kind of lied, i'll add "top 3" to the following, they are interchangeable.

the antlers, hospice

i posted about this album, so i won't say much more. this is could be the best dramatic/depressing rock album of th decade. i don't really know what that means, but i love this album. you should only listen to this album in it's entirety, but "two," "antophy," "bear," and "wake" are some of my favorites. beautiful and sad art at it's best. check out their takeaway show. amazing (many thanks to ben for the link).

The Antlers - Two / Epilogue - A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

the xx, xx

again, so much has already been said, i don't have much to add. i can find almost any occasion to play this album. it surprises me now that it took me a little while to get into it. subtle and almost dance-able (i really need another descriptor). in a word this album is sexy. which is probably appropriate given much of the lyrical content. again, i can't get enough. the spoken/whispered word delivery is beautiful. if you haven't, listen now.

phoenix, wolfgang amadeus phoenix

the pop album of the year, easily. all i'll say is that i was afraid i'd serious overplayed this album, but kept on playing it and never got tired. seriously, this is why pop music exists. well delivered, tight music.

things that make me laugh part viii

my first failblog posting.

parking meter win.

moar funny pictures

website is up!

it still needs a lot of work, but you can see the first iteration for archetype design at http://atypedesign.com

i still have to get some good content up there and make some adjustments to color etc. but let me know what you think.

all hallow's eve

here is my halloween menu, as some of you may have seen from my twitter post. the zombie theme never fails. it's hard to capture in the digital version, but the document was folded in half, with the white block being a cutout. so the first page says "all hallow's eve," opening to the course list and the zombie picture. the back page lists thank yous.

hi res

hi res

i'm really pleased with the way these turned out. i'm grateful to be able to do work for entre and hope to continue producing menus in the future.

the more perceptive of you will note that i've finally settled on a name for my freelance work: archetype design (in reference to my namesake's contribution to psychology). what do you think?

fall is here

before the leaves completely fall to the ground, my wife and i took the dog to the park to try and capture some of the color. unfortunately, we didn't have the good camera with us (don't ask), so these were all taken with the phone camera. not bad, if i do say so myself.

anyway, it was good walk. i hope there are still a few leaves to see this weekend. we've had heavy rain all week, so there's a chance we lost a lot of leaves. megan's been hoping to get some more pictures of the ginkgoes.

i love fall, but it is always bittersweet. i am excited by the color of the leaves and the coolness in the air. but i know it will be over soon. the prettier that the leaves get, the closer they are to falling--bringing bare trees, and a cold, long winter.

halloween brainstorming

ok, so here are a couple of side projects i did while working on my menu ideas. one is my own strange, satirical view of things that scare me. it's a bit over the top...but what's not terrifying about a giant tv in a church?

hi-res

the other is an idea i had for the menu, but didn't think the zombies would work as well as some of my other ideas. it's a total rip off from the new dawn of the dead. but the image works so well, i couldn't resist.

hi-res

design work

at this point, this blog is beginning to feel anemic. i'm finally starting to debate whether to even bother with it anymore. but in the meantime, i'll post some work i've been doing for a friend's restaurant. i tried to simulate the paper we printed on. so it looks a little different than the original design, but at least you get an idea against a color background.

9.12.09

the venue was rustic italian, served in a cellar (circa early 19th century).

hi-res

10.3.09

this menu was asian-inspired (literally, by the entire continent!). we found this really cool salmon colored paper, with a nice wood texture. it looked really cool when the lines of the "grain" showed through the printer toner. unfortunately, some had trouble reading it. what looks interesting isn't always practical.

hi-res

i'm currently racking my brain for the nucleus of horror for their halloween menu. i've got a few ideas thrown together, but i'd love to hear any of your suggestions. it's a competition between myself and a printing company who actually knows what they're doing, so i don't have much hope. regardless, i'm pretty excited to compete.

"we have met the enemy..."

go see district 9. i know, it's the big sensation. the movie makers spent next to nothing, campaigned obliquely and it shredded the box office opening weekend. the plot is not complex. aliens landed on earth and for some reason can't leave. they've been quarantined in a place called 'district 9.' in johannesburg of all places--not very subtle. but don't write it off yet. i loved this movie. the premise is pure science fiction genius. aliens have come to earth in a disc-shaped spaceship, but rather than being bent on human destruction, they are refugees.

the nerd in me became excited as soon as i saw the preview. is that a giant alien spaceship? is it hovering over johannesburg? are those humans clad in white supposed to be bad or good? is this filmed like a documentary? so many of the right questions.

from the perspective of the science fiction nerd that i am, the movie did not disappoint. the aliens and their technology (read: cool weapons) was creatively imagined. the actor portraying the main character does an excellent job. i instantly empathized with him as a very real but flawed character. he's no hero. he seems somewhat pathetic and then only interested in saving himself. one of my favorite things about this movie is that it does a wonderful job of letting all its character play to their self-interests in really authentic ways.

there are several antagonists, but all fall under the umbrella of mnu, a giant defense company, not unlike blackwater (now xe servcies). this adds another layer to an already rich story. one that increasingly reflects our own, boring, non-sci-fi lives.

i think the most difficult part of the film is the audience's ability to identify with aliens that resemble large bugs (their referred to as "prawns" in the movie). the filmmakers fight to make the audience empathize with the aliens by giving them eyes similar to our own. the dialogue style between the two species is also authentic. the humans and aliens can understand each other vaguely, but each speaks in their own language and they often misinterpret one another. again, though the subject is pretty fantastic, the way the characters operate is very believable.

throughout the film, the parallels to our own society are purposefully explicit. it is this lack of subtlety that i think makes many true science fiction movies great. this movie does an excellent job of trying to let its characters and situations play themselves out in the world they inhabit. at the same time, this is sci-fi and it's supposed to be absurd. we're talking about an alien spaceship floating over johannesburg for 25 years. things should get a little crazy. naturally, there are a lot of ridiculous explosions--buildings explode, aliens explodes, people explode, pigs explode. it is over the top. does this make the movie contradictory? yes, but as any good sci-fi film would be.

like i said earlier, it's pretty explicit from the outset that we're getting into some heavy stuff when the human-alien relationships reflect apartheid-era south africa. the documentary-style filmaking helps parallel the fantastic events of the film to our own society. the sight of burning and armored cars rumbling through the hulks of destroyed cars are too familiar to make this escapist.

the fundamental theme of the film is the "us versus them" mentality. without giving too much away, we watch the main character, who has been profiting off the status quo come to realize that he is a 'them' and not an 'us.' it's great stuff--engaging and fun to watch.

at the same time, this has me thinking alot about metaphors, particularly in science fiction. i worry that the very nature of the genre will mean that much of the weight of the story is lost on the audience. again, i love science fiction and i think that more often than not it reflects more about the society of the creator than the fantastic scenes it portrays. i fear though that in a film like this, the metaphor can become too theoretical. the film uniquely portrays a very old story: that we will always seek division over unity. that it will inevitably be easier to justify persecuting and demonizing the other side than to struggle to live together. but i guess it has me wondering that the power of that simple theme will be lost or overwhelmed by extravagant nature of the broader story. i know that it is part of the limitation of the genre. maybe that is what differentiates a simply interesting story with one that is ultimately true. the lessor story will be lost in the spectacle while the truest narrative will penetrate even the most fantastic situations. i prefer to think distrcit 9 is the latter.

things that make me laugh part vii

more to come soon. enjoy this for now.

see more Fail Blog

who owns who?

perhaps this is mostly me fumbling to make sense of the ins and outs of everyday, but my life seems to take on themes. right now, it feels like the theme that keeps coming up is digital hyperconnectivity and anxiety. ben got the ball rolling on his blog a few weeks ago. it's definitely worth following the conversation on his blog. my contribution was the thought that with technology, like all things, we must find a balance rather than clinging to simple extremes.

then, a week ago i listened to an excellent podcast on econtalk. econtalk is my weekly chance to listen to people who are smarter than me talk about things i don't understand. actually, whether you care about economics, markets, and human social behavior or not, it's a really interesting podcast. one of my favorite traits of the show's host, russ roberts, is that he has plenty of guest who hold opinions that differ from his own and engages them in honest, tame discussion.

my like for econtalk aside, i really enjoyed a recent podcast in which roberts interviewed author mark helprin. though they ostensibly were debating intellectual copyright, about halfway through the show, they begin to discuss humans and technology. helprin makes a good point that rather than technology making our lives easier, it often forces us to bend to it, making our lives more complicated for the sake of productivity. he notes after all that has changed about this world, humans still need food, friends/family, and rest. this thought is at once obvious and revolutionary. at this moment, if the general trend in our culture is moving towards anything, it is certainly not for doing less in the name of rest. it is to utilize the latest gadgets to do as much as possible. rather than allowing us more free time, most technology seems to give us more work and more stress. check the podcast out here, i think it's worth a listen.

recently, i've been thinking alot about the role of anxiety in my own life. my worry-free external persona is often an act, covering anxiety about some of the most mundane tasks. i wonder to what extent this anxiety is exacerbated by being connected to the internet all day long. i know the ability to learn next to nothing about almost any topic has destroyed my attention span. i also wonder the extent to which knowing about something i have to do the second the email arrives creates added stress.

i know that in many ways this topic is far from new. people much smarter than i have been saying "less is more" for years. it also seems like simplicity is definitely back in style, most likely as a result of our collectively hyperconnected lives. the super nerdy sci-fi part of my mind thinks that if the world was ever going to be taking over by machines, it wouldn't look anything like the movies. instead, we would simply continue down our current path, each generation altering their lifestyle more and more to accommodate the machines. i know this is ridiculous sounding, and i don't mean it in all seriousness, but i still think it's worth puzzling over. ok, maybe it's not worth puzzling over the robot takeover (and make no mistake, they will take over). but it is worth thinking about our own dependence on machines. don't worry, i'll continue to use my computer, i may even get a fancy phone one day. so i'm certainly not refuting my earlier point about technology, like most things, being both good and bad. but the more i think about it, the more difficult it seems to find the balance between owning the computer and the computer owning you.

my birthday party

about this time last week i was pretty frustrated with my wife. a few days earlier she'd told me we had to go to nashville for one final birthday present. i know, this makes me sound like an ass, which i am. but at least let me explain. first, we've been out of town a lot this summer. second, sonic youth was playing in st louis for free last weekend, i thought on saturday, leaving plenty of time for us to get back. last friday morning i checked the concert date and found it was set for friday evening. of course, i protested, "do we really have to go this weekend? why do we have to go to nashville to get this?" again, you can see what a jerk i am. my wife has a present for me in nashville, clearly she's put some thought and care into whatever it is, but i want my plan.

despite my efforts, we got on the road friday afternoon and drove to nashville, had dinner with my parents, and went to the barmes' house to hang out/receive my present. to some of you it might seem obvious what was coming next. the thought went through my mind several times during the 4.5 hour drive, "either she's gonna give me some lame antique that she bought in nashville, or all my friends will be there. she should know that all my friends would make me the most happy. just prepare for a random gift, jason. otherwise, you'll be disappointed." obviously, i'm egocentric and cared little for whatever my wife had actually invested in this present. it didn't help that i talked to several nashville friends along the way who told me they probably could not hang out friday night.

we arrived and anna and joe's house and said hello. franny urinated all over there brand new carpet so i took her out back. at this point, i had resigned to the belief that it was just the four of us hanging out. mildly dissappointed, but still happy to be among friends, i went out back and was surprised by everyone hiding under the porch.

you can check out the few picture we got of the party below. the last of us were up until 3, so i'd say most had a good time. in spite of my selfish whining, my wife planned a great birthday present.

drama

i was looking through old emails the other day and came across and something i'd written to myself over three years ago. i had just started my first job after college. now, it seems dramatic , miserable and verbose. but because i just found out i'll continue to work at that same job for the foreseeable future, it seems fitting to put it up here. i cringed re-reading it at times--fill free to ridicule me, but in some strange way, i'm also proud of myself for actually writing it when i did. my nature is to keep things bottled up and outwardly complain as little as possible. which is obviously not the healthiest way to live life. maybe i should be writing my thoughts more often as a way of processing my life. don't worry, this blog is not about to turn into a cyber-emotion vomit session.

here it is in all it's unedited glory.

It's the sitting that eventually wears me down, day by day. Sitting in the same place all day long, yet somehow still unable to make my body stand and walk around the office. Surely at the very least I could convince myself I needed to go to the bathroom.

No.

I sit. By the slight adjustment of my left foot, I can swing the swivel chair in quick, short motions—right to left. I instinctively twist my right index finger until it pops. This is perhaps the 22 ^nd time I have performed this procedure or ritual today.

Like I said, it's the sitting that eventually makes me feel numb. My body feels as if it were asleep but its not. Unfortunately, the same can be said of my brain. Though it's more asleep than any other portion of me now. My fingers tap keys with relative precision. I only use the delete key sparingly, which usually isn't a good thing. Editing is a good thing. But that's how I got here in the first place. Editing.

Trying to type up my thoughts to a best friend, I found myself editing every word I said. For every argument I made, the counter-argument came to my mind. It was not that these 'counter-arguments' were exceptional. My primary ones were probably no better. It was that they were there. There is nothing quite so staggering as having two converse thoughts in your mind. It forces you to tiredness.

Tiredness. The phrase that seems to always be with me, making me drag my own feet below me. Why is that? i don't stay up well into the night. I walk somewhat regularly. I don't smoke that much. Barely any at all. Yet I feel like I'm missing out on something. That, by being so tired, I have succumbed to some external force applying unrelenting pressure. I can't understand it other than by association. At this moment, I associate this feeling with my current occupation.

Unfortunately, they haven't come up with a word for what I do. 'Office lackey,' is my personal term for it. I suppose like any job, it has its moments. I've found that I simply enjoy completing a task and doing it well, if I can. This is what scares me.

If I enjoy the completion of a task, regardless of the task itself, why the sluggish feeling?

I know it's not necessarily this job that continues to grind me down--though I have hoped for so long that is was this job. It is just having a job. That freedom ripped from me and hidden forever. The monotony of a daily routine so endlessly unchanging, clinked into place. Its very presence pressing out with unrelenting vigor the joys of my previous life into an afterthought. Work must now become my life.

But wait. This is normal. Everyone in the middle to upper echelon experiences this transformation, both abrupt and total, right? Had we not known that moment (most will call this higher education) free of major responsibility and time constraint, we should, in fact, be enjoying our employment all the more. Had we not known a time of plenty, the want would not seem so wanton.

I suppose.

But how much of my current job is to do with me and how much is to do with it?

This is the moment the confusion and sometimes discouragement begins to set in. What if its my own laziness? What if its the fact that I'm not being motivated? And then the inevitable question that is yet further down the path of confusion, what if its both?

If my last question, prying and unrelenting is correct, then simply getting a different line of work would have varying degrees of success--in the light of finding joy in my employment.

soulard farmers market

a few weeks ago megan's brother and his girlfriend came to visit us in stl. being good st. louisans we showed one the city's treasures: the soulard farmer's market.

now is prime season for just about anything, so megan brought the camera along and snapped some excellent pictures. though i love the fresh produce, my staples are the cheap all-beef hotdogs and beer you can purchase onsite.

the people are pretty awesome, too. most cruise the peddler's nooks, looking for the coming week's produce, but a i think more than a few just come to drink bloody marys on saturday morning and walk around. i understand that the market has become a become a kind of tourist attraction, but luckily it's not too annoying. i've had some of my best saturday mornings there.

new media

tipped off by another blog, i began following the riots in tehran and the rest of iran via twitter today. an occasional twitterer, i have rarely followed the trends on twitter until today. after a few minutes, i was addicted. not only are users in iran reporting events there as they occur, they are also using the service to coordinate protests. i can sit at my desk and read about events literally as they happen across world, from the perspective of the people actually there. not even the 24 hour news channels can give me this. the prospect is frightening.

on one hand, i can't stop reading. that some sort of revolution may be occurring before our eyes online is amazing and hope-bearing. it seems like pundits and nerds have been toting the extra-social implications of facebook and twitter for a long time. other than the obama campaign, this is the first time the utilities have really had a major role to play in the political scene. it is exciting to witness. i hope that truth and justice prevails in iran.

on the other hand, i fear that this could be nothing more than "some weird voyeurism (no idea on the source here, i believe it is a comment on a youtube video of the protests)"--an extension of current hyper-connected media outlets. what does my ability to witness iranian intellectuals and middle class protest a dishonest and oppressive government have to do with their struggle?

in some real ways, what we're seeing in iran via twitter goes beyond 5 minute updates on CNN. the updates come from protesters in the field, not from a news correspondent or even via an interview. the protesters themselves are using the service to coordinate, allowing users around the globe to interact and perhaps even contribute in small ways. throughout the day, users have been posting proxy address that allow users inside iran to bypass government filtering.

but in many other ways, reality remains the same. though we can see the brutality of the government crushing dissent firsthand, i fear that the images will be lost amid a sea of violence that floods u.s. and worldwide audiences every day. though personal interaction in new media removes many of the alienating aspects of traditional media, i wonder what it will actually change. our skins are thick and the problems of the world seem so daunting.

this is not to say that all of new media is nothing but the same. my views on the world are shaped far more by blogs and podcasts than by traditional media sources and i consider this a good thing. but both do require the understanding that there is nothing without bias or interpretation. i suppose you at least get to chose whose filter to receive the world through.

regardless of the reaction of the witnessing world, it is certainly true that outcome of the next few days will be wholly left up to the iranians. i have no idea what will happen, but it seems like the worst thing that can happen is nothing.

update: the new york times has a good article about twitter in iran here. twitter postponed a scheduled maintenance downtime, acknowledging of the service's significance in iran.

and this is a hopeful blog post from the daily beast. excerpt: "like civil rights protestors who sang rousing hymns as they were carried off to jail, twitterers are bearing witness to what's happening around them, and calling out into the darkenss of cyberspace for confirmation."

where HAVE i been?

i'll just skip over any apology to my readers. i know i've talked to the two of you in the months intervening my posts anyway. at this point, this blog seems to be really for myself and i can't even keep it up with that in mind. 

a couple months ago, i got a call from my boss. given to pessimism, at least internally, i'd imagined a call like this before. it was still a big shock. "we're going to have to move you to part time." to be honest, it was not as bad as i feared. but i was not getting a raise, either. so i began again my uncertain search for a new job, either part or full time. 

i had about a month from that phone call until my pay went to part time. i don't remember exactly how many applications i submitted. i don't want to exaggerate and claim it was in the hundreds, but 50 is safe number. the month began to wind down and i had no real leads. i'm not naturally inclined towards stress, but that last week, i felt like some giant thing was grinding mercilessly towards me and would certainly crush me. that's bit melodramatic, but it felt that way. 

providentially, i received two calls back later that week. one landed me a job interviewing teenagers for a study with a university here in town. it was supposed to last until this summer. it ended this week instead. while i'm grateful for the work, it got old. really fast. for the past month i was cruising malls, creepily asking teenagers for their opinion. recruiting anyone for a survey can be draining work. getting turned down by pre-teens was excruciating at times.

but, like i said, it was work. now, i'm back to the drawing board. i've got a couple more leads that will hopefully materialize into some manual labor soon. after a few years of white collar boredom, it'll be nice to get paid for using my hands again. 

i'm also hoping to branch out in my regular work. though only a hobby, i have always enjoyed graphic design (new logo, above). i'm going to begin tutorial in adobe's latest creative suite sometime next month. i hope i can develop this an additional skill. depending on my success, i may even go back to school. but i'm not willing to think about that too much right now. so if you're in need of a little design work, let me know. i'm completely fine learning on the job.

so there's my explanation for the past few months. look for another post sometime around july.

george clooney is a real person

[this post was supposed to go out last week. my abysmal blogging habits continue to disappoint even my expectations. so, one week later, here it is]

my half-hearted belief that modern film actors don't exist except as ones and zeroes on gigantic hard drives in studio back lots died on monday evening. up the block from our house, we caught george clooney and crew filming a scene for up in the air. when i say "caught," i mean we stood with a group of about 50 people and watched a movie being made across the street. i'm 95% positive that the tanish grayish head i saw driving a red chrysler was his. 

he and accompanying actress pulled into the front of the cheshire parking lot a few times and then production moved inside. while the cheshire's "fox and hound" bar is my favorite location to drink beer and pretend to be in england or a cheeky fake england, i was a little surprised they wanted to film there. it got even weirder when we realized the production crew had put wisconsin plates on all the cars. wtf?!

when you see a shabby, kitsch, tudor style motel in the movie and assume by the cars' plates you're in wisconsin, remember that it's actually missouri and my mission will have been accomplished.

where the wild things are

i know i've been absent for too long. and i promise a more in depth post soon. but for now, enjoy.

hat tip to em for mentioning the song and to AustinatMCG  for posting the linke via twitter. this made my afternoon.

i have a problem

the past couple weeks have been difficult.

two weeks ago i flew down to san antonio to see my grandfather probably for the last time. i don't throw that out lightly and am not even sure i want to blog about it. but there it is for now.

last week i found out that the little muscle (called a sphincter--is it a muscle?) between the top of my stomach and the bottom of my esophagus isn't working very well. when my stomach is digesting food, it allows acid back up into my esophagus, which can be really painful. it gets even worse when i sleep because lying down, the acid travels further. it's all real pleasant to imagine, i know. things started to go wrong when i noticed a persistent pain in my neck and throat around christmas. what the doctor initially thought was just a sinus infection now appears to be acid reflux disease. a trip to radiology at st. luke's confirmed it. i drank barium and the doctors x-rayed my esophagus as i swallowed. it was weird.

the main thing that this means is that i may have to be on medication for awhile and that i can eat practically nothing that tastes good. but in all seriousness, i don't think it's that bad. from what i've read, one of the biggest things i can do is to eat smaller portions and sleep with my head propped up. sadly, though sleeping with a wedge of pillows sounds comfortable, it actually isn't.

but just so you will always feel guilty enjoying yourself around me, let me tell you what i can't have anymore. no more coffee, liquor, tobacco (which needed to go anyway), fried foods, overly processed foods, tomatoes and citrus fruits, or greasy and oily foods. from what i can tell, i can still have beer in moderation, so i won't be giving up the bottle anytime soon. the craziest thing about the diet is that it mainly relegates me to much healthier food. and from what i understand, as i get better, i may be able to expand what i eat, as long as the portions remain smaller. basically, the prescription is "don't be a relentless consumer." the most difficult thing to lose has been coffee and tobacco--i need my legal addictive stimulants.

the most surprising thing about all of this was that--save the moment i wake up--missing out on caffeine hasn't been that bad. i hope to get to the point where i can have a cup of coffee and smoke my pipe every now and again, but i seem to be functioning close to normal for now. getting less jittery late in the morning is probably a good thing as well.

this will of course sound trite, but trying to shed these things over the past two weeks has made me realize the extent to which i cling to consumption for happiness. it feels like i have been just waiting for the next thing to eat, whether it be food, coffee, alcohol, movies, music or even what i could acquire from friendships. the thing that is so bizarre is that i don't typically miss any of the prohibited foods/stimulants in particular. every once in a while, i miss a giant greasy slice of pizza or fresh coffee. but mostly, i just want something in general. it seems like the thing i miss is unchecked consumption, the subject of is irrelevant.

so here's to turning new leafs, even if forced to do so.

things that make me laugh part vi

from the fail blog.
see more pwn and owned pictures

coraline

as a rule, if movies are made for kids and involve creepy stop motion, i like them. i can't believe i still haven't seen the corpse bride. so i was pretty excited when i heard about coraline and read good reviews. i've never read the book, so i had no real expectations going in. 

the movie did not disappoint. the plot is roughly about a young girl who discovers a magical world that seems a million times better than her own. but (shocker) it's not. though there's nothing new in this story, it's the delivery that is so great. even before it's revealed that coraline's wonderful alternate world is actually a pretty scary place, there a few clues that should raise an eyebrow (her alternate parents have buttons for eyes--wait, what?!). then, when the full transformation takes place, her alternate mother becomes a pretty freaky villain. prepare yourself. 

in fact, i thought this movie had a really good insight into parent-child relationships. it's pretty intense for any movie, especially one geared for children, to delve into the theme of love as consumption. after the movie, my mom (visiting stl for the weekend), remarked that she would never have taken us to see the film as children. for younger children, i would probably agree with my overprotective mother, but on the other hand, this is exactly the kind of kids movie i'd take an older child to see. when did fairy tales become un-creepy, anyway? 

though i just watched the film in lame 2d, there is a also a 3d version in theaters. i thought the movie was beautiful and would love to see selected scenes in 3d, but a full feature might be pushing it. 

confession

i have a confession. i publicly decry good bands that have attained popularity in a smug attempt to appear too "indie" or concerned with originality to be impressed.

i know, many of us put up some front regarding music that allows our tastes to seem somehow more informed. but a recent article from pitchfork about coldplay made me realize just how stupid and deep my hypocrisy runs (ironically, most of my snobbishness is encouraged by pitchfork).

a few months ago, my friend will asked me if had listened to the new coldplay album because he really liked it. without hesitation, i produced some lame quip that none of coldplay's songs make any sense (which is actually true, but irrelevant).

like any sane person, he responded that half the bands we listen to make no sense (if he recommends a band, i like it without fail, so he knows my music well). i think at that point i sputtered an inane response under my breath about how i was "just over their style" while i fumbled for a rational response in vain. i believe i tired to change the subject next.

what is so despicable is that i finally listened to the album (after a recommendation by another will) and liked it. of course, most of their songs still don't make sense. their thinly veiled and esoteric political statements just make me angry. but the music is still good. see, why couldn't i have said that to my friend and just enjoyed the music? 

this is just part of a wider trend in my life of making statements which sound good based on a preconceived notion of "true" art, political sensibilities, or lifestyle in general and then scrambling after the fact to find the reason behind them. why not just state up front what my personal taste is rather than perversely pretend there is empirical evidence behind it? i guess the need to feel important, original, or informed outweighs the simple pleasure of enjoying music with friends. 

it's great to have an opinion and even to have reasons for it. to portray them as anything other than taste is foolish. anyway, feel free to mock me whenever you hear self-important sounding speech.

snow, part iii

at this point, i'm about as tired of images of the snow and my dog as you are. but i'm a man of little imagination and easily revert to homeostasis. so more of the same it is.

i know six inches might be next to nothing to most people in the midwest. to a southerner, there's little difference between six inches and four feet. i might as well be living in alaska now. in fact, this is the first time that i've had residence in a place where the snow fully covered the blades of grass, so you can imagine what a big deal this is. i hope you enjoy the pictures.

snow day, part ii

i guess i spoke too soon concerning snow in stl. we got a lot yesterday and are supposed to get more tonight. 

from google's weather application:

Tonight
Snow in the evening...then snow and chance of sleet after midnight. Snow and sleet accumulation of 2 to 4 inches. Near steady temperature around 18. Northeast wind around 10 mph. Chance of precipitation 90 percent.

snow and then sleet. sounds fun.

the dog just stared out the window at it coming down. for half a second i wondered what she could be thinking about her first snow. probably something like, "what...the...hell just happened?" at least, if i was a dog who only knew eating and walkng down my street to the park, that's what i would think.

things that make me laugh, part v

as i've never considered cullin the harbinger of humor in my life,  i was surprised when i enjoyed the following comic strip he sent me. maybe my humor's just gotten older and dumber...less like a 26 year old and more like a 48 year old. the strip is from get fuzzy, by darby conley.

good riddance

"and now, the end is near..."

 for years many americans had been waiting for yesterday. for my part, i have to confess to voting for the guy...twice. twice?! yes.  i was 18 in 2000. who knew anything then? the second time around, i guess i should have known better...but what option did i really have?

but anyway, this post is not a justification, but more of a farewell. let's reflect on what we're going to miss about the guy. according to him, history will bear out his decisions, so we'll let them stand for themselves for now.

here's my list of w's more redeeming qualities:

style. the guy couldn't say abu ghraib to save a million people's lives. but then, who could? he laughed like such a goof ball--he had that affable style.

consistency. even if he was sticking to the most asinine position conceivable, you knew he'd be there the next day as well. it was mostly a fault, but every once in a while, you could appreciate him for it.

no terror attacks. that he thought this was the only relevant job to his presidency was a mistake. we're still learning about the sacrifices this country is making in the name of security. but on the surface, you got to hand it to the man. hopefully, the trend will continue and we'll see that we can properly strike the balance between freedom and security. 

"regret's, i've had a few; but then again, too few to mention..."

at this point, i don't feel spouting off the litany of decisions we should be angry over. while i'm eager for our new president to take office, i fear that no one can bear the burden placed on him. but i appreciated his inauguration speech and now i just want to appreciate the moment in american history. now he'll have to really be president. let's hope that in 8 years, his list of redeeming qualities will be longer than our previous president.

speaking of 'hope,' can we put a temporary ban on that word and 'change,' too? seriously. they need some time to breathe and recover their meaning. 

in that spirit, i'll start writing about something worthwhile. last night, i threw a little new president party. i encouraged people to dress up becuase why go to a party if you're dressed up? we had a good time. here are some 'introspective' pictures from the evening. 

snow days

snow days used to mean alot in my world. now, aside from asthetic value, they mean next to nothing . even at work, they offered the promise of at least a late start--that can throw off your entire day, in a good way. 

now, snow days really do mean nothing. i get up, make some coffee. look at the dog--should i walk her? no. sit at the desk. "oh look, it's snowing. that's pretty."

unless the snow turned into freezing rain that anchored itself to the power or internet lines and the extra weight pushed them to braking point...nothing.

look at it, even the fake google weather picture looks more appealing.

mlk: day of service

in spite of news' hype about barrack obama getting out and painting some schools today, this "day of service" thing is really great. i'm sure my more partisan friends will inform me that's its just a liberal tool (after all, acorn and the dnc are involved)--but whatever. i just wish i'd paid attention to all of this sooner (or wasn't working on mlk day). but it looks like people are scheduling events well into the future. i hope it goes well. 

things that make me laugh, part iv

franny, discovering herself. 

she just heard the birds on planet earth. naturally, she tried to find them behind the tv. 

it's colder than it looks

current temperature: 3.

high today: 9.

whaaaaaat. did i move to st. petersburg? russia, not florida. it doesn't look that bad, but it is...

there's not much else to post. mainly me complaining. yes, i grew up in the south. yes, single digits frighten me. this is called "_____ cold" (fill in your expletive). that is all.

how to waste $50

i got back in town last night to discover that the show i've been obsessing over the past month (to be my first proper concert since i got here) was about to begin in an hour and was sold out. i didn't think girl talk was playing until next thursday. fool that i am didn't think it necessary to buy tickets beforehand or double-check his dates.

as soon as i got off the train, megan met me to try and scalp tickets. we spent an hour in the cold, haggling with scalpers and generally being angry at every 16 year old boy dressed like a woman and every girl dressed like a 12 yr. old. finally we were able to get two tickets, one from a nice and intoxicated kid going to school at loyola in chicago (sorry, em, he doesn't know your brother). the other came from a guy who's other ticket for his wife was a phony (foreshadowing). for the both of them we paid about $50, which was only $20 more than face value.

when we went through the line to get in, it turned out that my ticket (from the intoxicated loyolan) had already been scanned. the kid went through, then came back out and sold us his ticket. i don't know if it was out of malevolence or drunkenness, but anger and frustration are not adequate words.

we sat in the lobby for about 15 minutes just stalling, hoping the ticket checker would have a heart and let us in. there was nothing he could do. either megan went to the show by herself (not an appealing proposition, espeically in light of one of the better conversation we'd had outside the venue earlier with a particularly wise 19 yr. old: "i had sex with a girl at the last show! the enitre crowd saw my ass." amazing. i'm sure that's how she would describe it as well), or neither of us went. we gave up and went home.

i guess the most disappointing thing about the whole evening was that by the time we got home, i wasn't that depressed. maybe i'm trying to be coyly jaded or just getting older, but sitting outside the theater last night seeing those kids didn't make me want to experience that crazy concert at all. i should've known before going to a concert like girl talk, but i guess i just ignored that quiet, prideful and judgmental voice in the back of my head until last night.

i still love going to shows. and i even truly appreciate the semi-counter culture that the indie music scene can be. i've just gotten very choosy about live music and what was once unique is now mainstream. there are still plenty of original artists (girl talk is one of them) and there are plenty of listeners who will enjoy them as art and not as consumption (maybe girl talk is intended to be more of the latter?). but i guess all things change, including my love for live music and what used to be considered independent. this sounds pretty trite and stuffy, i know, but there it is. in spite of everything, here's to hope for art...